I support pinkstinks

I am constantly told how their boys are “boys” and how girls are so not like boys! Well, I, to a certain extent, can see that there will be some gender differences between boys and girls, but some parents make it to the level that I constantly get the feeling to fight against it. One thing I do not want my daughter to do is defend her gender. As Menaka Raman says, the shops and brands promoting this pink/blue culture does not help either. And there is this gender stereotyping stories such as all princess stories and all macho hero stories.

I support pinkstinks.

PS: I got one little q though, why pink stinks? why not blue-pink divide stinks? or as my rebellious mind would want to say, why not blue stinks?

What do I want my daughter to be

Siletnone talks about her dreams and aspirations

Children are not a lot different from computers in the sense that they are  G in G out (garbage in garbage out) type. IMHO, there is no parenting method, which is purely “leaving the child to choose” type. Some background work is always done to lead and hence to mould the child. Some mould them too much and make them stick to parent’s expectations, whereas, some others lead the child to learn and reevaluate so that the child can chose irrespective of parent’s interests. I am lucky to be surrounded by so many children with few methods under test that I can see the results everyday and have the opportunity to observe them develop as their parents impose their ideas on them. Some children develop to “listen”, some develop to “memorise”, some others develop to “seek attention”. A few develop to imagine and question as well, which gives me some hope in my future parenting strategies I am planning to impose on my child. I do not know how it happened in my childhood that I developed to imagine and question, for which I will NOT give any credit to my parents. It must have been purely an accident.  They did not know how to mould me to “memorise”. They failed in their attempt in moulding me to “listen”.  There was no one to pay attention, so my “seek attention” is still an on-going one to see if there is anyone around paying me any attention at all.

What do I want my child to be:

  1. No attention seeking habits. At the same time seeing to it that it is not deprived of attention (which may be translated as “no care” by the child, which might lead to insecured feeling) altogether either.
  2. no memorising
  3. learn to imagine and question
  4. learn to reevaluate and self learning

Sure I have aspirations and dreams for her too.

  1. I want her to have a well earning career. No maths oriented. No Cambridge or Oxford, unless it is law. London Business School – yes, London School of Economics – yes. If possible Harvard University or Stanford University. Princeton or Yale is fine too.

little clarification (edited to add): I do not want her to be an achiever though. Not even a ranker in her class. After being an achiever if one has to face failure, I know how much it derails a person. I want her to be exposed to failures and successes equally. Atleast some taste of failure should be there. It will prepare her to accept it and move on.

  1. no too much into book (fiction) reading habits. Sure I would like her to read some books (fiction too) just so that she is in the knowledge of who is who and what is what.
  2. (Added). no too much music (any kind). Particularly not Indian classical music or dance related thingys. I do not have any formal training in any of them, but I do have some attraction developed for some music and some dance. The Indian movie industry didn’t let me escape, that’s how. The attraction I had has faded away a lot since though. So, no prize for guessing that I am not playing any classical music for my baby in my bump. Yes they say it is just a calming factor. But they also say that mother’s mood is what transferred to the child. So, if I do not feel calmed by listening to any of those music, classical or not, Indian or not, then what is the point in playing it for my baby? Won’t it make the child go confused when I send mixed signals?

Let us see. As they say in Hindi, Delhi tho abi bahut dhoor hai. (please correct my “h” problems). 🙂

PS: bulletting or numbering does not work for this template.

I am what you ate mother

The child develops its taste based on what she gets in her amniotic fluid. Food item such as garlic, which have strong flavour, gives its  taste (or flavour?) in the amniotic fluid itself, which trains the child for that taste. If the mother changes her diet suddenly during her breast feeding, the child may dislike the milk and hence dislike the breast feeding, as the milk also carries the flavour or taste of the food mother eats and the child can differentiate it. The taste palate of the child depends on what the mother eats during pregnancy and what the child is fed during its early days.

I am eating very hot spicy food and very less sweet items. Tamarind + chilli is my favourite combination.

Bilingual kid

I have heard about this little boy’s charming talks from his mother (his mother once asked him a question, he didn’t reply. She wasn’t sure whether he heard her or not, so she repeated the question, he didn’t reply. She repeated again with a louder voice. He didn’t reply. She repeated again with another question, “do you hear me or not”, for which he replied: “Leave me alone”!!!), but last weekend I got the opportunity to watch it for myself (That bird that did it on his car window, is having constipation problem and is on lactulose). For a just under three years old (34 months), he thinks and talks really amazingly unbelievably too much, in a good nice way.

 Following is a result of his bilingual upbringing. A very cute one at that.

பாட்டி: “பிரெட்ட டோஸ்டர்ல போட்டுட்டு வந்துட்டயா, அது அப்படியே மேல வந்துடுச்சு, பூம்–னு (வெடி/மத்தாப்பு வெடிப்பது போல் கைசைகை செய்து கொண்டே)”.

His Grandma: “You left the bread in the toaster and left the place, didn’t you? It came out up like boooom (hand gesturing like firecracker cracking)”.

The little boy / பையன்: “You பயந்து(got scared)? I பயந்து (got scared) too”.