Recruiting

When you watch the Homeland the word recruiting is used in a completely different meaning. The approach though is interesting. Carrie Mathison would spend time with the potential assets in order to convince them that they are going to be part of a bigger picture and for a greater good they turn willing to do anything.

Reality check:

I am profiled by the front-liners. For a quite long time it would upset me. Then I took inspiration from “The Good Wife“. I quote Alicia Florrick, “If they are using you, let them use you”. Yesterday there was a call. We spent 15 minutes of playing “you tell the rate, no, you tell the rate, no no, you tell the rate” game only to for me to give up telling him a number only for him to give up the number he had all along. One could have saved the 15 minutes of frustration. Isn’t keeping the nice feeling in a conversation an essential in ice-breaker?

I knew what to expect from the tone of the conversation. The person on the other side asked questions in such a way that the answers can only in the format, “yes sir”. After gruelling 1 hour of such “yes sir” answers, he said that he will need at least two sentences of explaining why I am suitable for every, I repeat, every bullet point in the job-spec, for both “Essential skills & experience” and “Nice to have skills & Experience”. He explained his cleverness behind this that only that person who really wants this job will be able to complete this task. Blimey. And the question went, “Are you that person”? Remember I was supposed to say, “yes sir”, and I did. I was self talking to myself that “this is all just the front-line. I need to swallow this and get to the next level to finally get the job. Just keep repeating ‘yes sir’ and it is all going to be done”, while wondering and imagining the how the bullet points would look like:

  • Daily stand up

my answer – I have experience of running this  shit for the last shitx years.

  • Sprint planning

my answer – I have experience of running this shit for the last shitx years.

  • Burn down charts

my answer – I have experience of  running (oops) reporting this shit for the last shitx years.

and so on.

Then the next question went, “So, when can I expect the CV back from you?”

I woke up. “Hu”?

“When can you send me back the answers?”

“Please send me the jobspec and without knowing how many bullet points we are talking here, I honestly cannot give you an answer now”.

“Can you send me back today? I want the answers today.”

“Please send me the jobspec. I will see what I can do”.

I had to leave to pick up the kids and chauffeur them around for the clubs. I had 15mins in between to feed them. The boy has been blaming me for not feeding him the right amount of food to get him move to the grading level in Tae Kwon Do. Apparently he has been tired due to lack of energy.  I shoved ravioli on their plates. Their nose went up. I told them in stern voice that no alternative facts foods can be cooked now. Eat it or go hungry. I started checking mail to see whether I have got the jobspec in my inbox. There it was.  I couldn’t miss noticing that not a single ravioli has been consumed yet. Two of them have been pierced and picked by forks and are being examined by very suspicious eyes. I offered them my homemade pasta sauce. “Mummy, Indian sauce won’t work with it” – the girl offered her expertise. A look in her direction got me the following answer, “ok, ok, I will have the pasta sauce”. After giving the pasta sauce, I am back checking the jobspec. The first bullet point was:

  • xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I could not imagine what on earth they could possibly think of putting in the next bullet point as everything under the sun is already covered in the first one. Nope, my wits are being tested. There are 25 more bullet points. Obviously I haven’t yet read them all.