xx things I want my daughter to hear

  1. you taught me who I am. If you are unsure of things about you, wait until you have your own daughter. She will help you with it.
  2. never be number two to anyone. Rememer you are number one at home and hence you are number one wherever you go and whoever you become.
  3. your brother will mean well. he adores you. he steals from you, he copies you, he imitates you, but you are his idol. you are the bench mark. look after him. He needs you, will always.
  4. You are not pretty. you don’t need to be pretty. You are intelligent. You can rule the world with your head. Just let the head rule. You will know you are pretty.
  5. You do not need to fit in.
  6. Never accept to do anything average. Find out and move on to other things in which you are above average. Satisfaction and happiness will follow suit.
  7. Do not follow the popular things/trends like a herd. Some people do. Let them be. Never follow jargon dropping people. Knowing the terminology does help but keep your words simple and understandable. It will earn you respect.

13 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. mona
    May 17, 2012 @ 17:21:30

    You rock girl………..


  2. chandra
    May 17, 2012 @ 17:39:06


    2 I am not sure, rest I am sharing it with my daughters


    • thenormalself
      May 17, 2012 @ 18:08:20

      Will add as we go along. so, I have left the number 8 open. 🙂

      why not sure about 2? not being number 2 to anyone means, never lesser than anyone. Specifically, not becoming wife of someone, instead, being someone herself. 🙂


  3. chandra
    May 18, 2012 @ 03:04:45

    thanks. i just thought all are on par. yes being “herself” “himself” is the key. will watch for the rest


    • thenormalself
      May 18, 2012 @ 05:55:02

      never accepting to be lesser than number one is the competitive mentality which gives the push in life in whatever we do or whoever we become. It is the same mentality that does not let one accept to serve food to the sofa while the other person is watching football. It does not let one to settle down as a wife of someone (big). It doesn’t let one to be introduced as “my husband is so and so in so and so company and I am staying at home to look after the family”. It hurts inside if one believes number one. It pushes to go out and find out something for herself and be someone herself. Then the introduction will be “I am so and so and my husband is so and so”.

      Btw, why are we always including the “himself”? it is their problem.

      When it comes to the list of things for my son, I will have one for him to make him “himself”.


  4. chandra
    May 18, 2012 @ 03:07:37

    wanted to add: read this out to my daughter last night, led to a hearty, warm conversation. thanks


  5. chandra
    May 18, 2012 @ 15:08:38

    thanks Prema
    on number 1 I understand what you say. But I see competitiveness overdone these days, no ethics no professionalism

    Sumi is one month into her first job, easy gong till now, suddenly started feeling more responsible, and feels burdened. rated a start performer in one week of training, and wants to retain it in all tests, that gives her some anxious moments. she is number 2 at home but she quite liked your point 2, and said “yes, yes”.

    she laughed aloud for point 3, that is true for her and her akka, remembered some funny moments . talked about “don’t have to fit in” she so much wants to fit in, yet all the time resisting it too.

    in a way, she was low when we started but warmed up,


    • thenormalself
      May 21, 2012 @ 18:19:41

      I agree about overdoing the competitiveness these days. I think I have written about it too.

      I am glad Sumi liked it. I am glad you liked and talked to your daughters. I am sure Sumi is number 1 at home too, as it is not the order of the childbirth. but being herself. 🙂

      I am glad this post brought out some light moments.

      I wrote more on “do not have to fit in” point and then deleted it. May be I will write a separate post on it one day. All my life I tried to fit in and fit in and I am tired now. I don’t bother any more. I am comfortable with myself now. That is why I wanted to say that. It is hard not to try to fit in.

      Overall, I am glad she (and you) liked it. I am honoured you read it with your daughters. I will try to write better to measure up to this.


      • chandra
        May 22, 2012 @ 15:46:43

        thank you Prema, do write more. Long ago I made my husband sit and read my ever favourite post on “milagu kulambu” 🙂

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