Discrimination is discrimination

Aaron gets less attention from Balan. Would Balan have done like this without feeling guilty if our first child was a boy and the second was a girl? or even both were girls? Discrimination is discrimination, I say.

I first felt how it is like to be on the other side of the fence when I was in the postnatal ward that mothers of girls were immediately forming a gang and I was not let in. They were all awwing and cooing at their babies and I was all my little boy had, and poor him that I was more into doing things more efficiently and catching up with my sleep (not to mention the morphine aided drowsy me for one complete day, when he needed me the most) than awwing and cooing at him. It is the same story in the weighing clinic. They talk to me all right but the baby in blue clothes doesn’t get all the awws and coos. Poor him being a tiny boy, the only comment he gets is, “oh he is tiny” in a whispering tone. Also, not just in the postnatal ward but even now when I reply to the question “what did you have”, as “a boy”, then they immediately look at me as if i am such a failure that I immediately have to defend myself by telling them that I have got a girl already. Then I get a reply “oh its alright then”…. and then they say, “how wonderful to have one in each. you have done well”… Actually I didn’t do anything to make it that way anymore than mothers of girls who get a discriminative treatment in India and in indian society here. Discrimination is discrimination, I say.

I have seen mothers of two girls immediately bonding too. Do mothers of two boys feel the same too? But, mothers of one in each do not feel any bonding. I mean, I am not in any such special group.
What did we do? whats our fault? I would like to know, please.

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5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. inbavalli
    Mar 04, 2010 @ 17:41:45

    Mother of one in each too. Bondo-bond πŸ˜€

    Reply

  2. Michelle
    Mar 05, 2010 @ 09:41:33

    What’s so weird is in other cultures girl babies are ignored and boys get all the fuss. Weird how humans manage to make even the most basic of human functions into something more complicated (and stressful) than it needs to be!

    Reply

    • Premalatha
      Mar 05, 2010 @ 10:37:58

      True about the girls being ignored. That is what I have mentioned in my last line. I am one big evidence myself, who is still treated unfairly by my family. I can’t understand how a mother herself can illtreat her own child just because she is a girl. what puzzles me is that, how son’s daughter is superior to her own daughter or daughter’s daughter.. what puzzles me even more is that, how brother’s daughter is dear to her than her own daughter! I guess, once written off means it is written off case and it was sad that i was the written off case by my mother. she even bullies me.

      I am glad this discrimination against boy babies is not the same as the one i have described above. What i think is, is this a slightly round about way of still discriminating girls? I mean, why do you need a group? like a support group when you have girl(s)? Do parents of boys form such a group? why not?

      Reply

  3. WA
    Mar 08, 2010 @ 21:26:08

    The baby doesn’t know yet that he is getting less attn, as long as he is not being ignored and his needs are met, what is the harm in spoiling the older one for a little while? I am sure Balan would learn to treat them equal soon, in any case aaron will sure be screaming for attn if he doesn’t get it. Until then, me thinks, let it be πŸ™‚

    Reply

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