Second child syndrome

I was first born. I was the one who got less attention after my parents had their second child. I was asked to be a “big girl” and “give it to my lil bro”.  I see similar kind of treatment in some other families where the first born is a girl, second born is a boy and if they believe in superior boy child. (ahh this boy child issue! don’t get me started again.) After becoming a mom and after seeing how my folks do things for the kids, now I think may be they didn’t always neglect me, at least until my brother arrived. These days it is the second child who gets less attention the studies and some(link1) mothers(link2) report(link3). Take my yet-t0-be-born-second-one for example. The pregnancy is not going to be recorded with so many detail. The first one got her nuchal scan picture posted on this blog with a story to go with it. The yet to be born second one (YTBBSO) gets named YTBBSO and the nuchal scan picture, though a better one, just lies on the mantle piece. (I do not have a scanner now. I had one before).

It was the reason I came back to blogging again. but won’t be blogging exactly like what I did for Muffin which will make the second child a copy cat negating the purpose. But the second one has to live with the fact that i am an “experienced mother” now, who knows that contraction does not happen at the vagina, who won’t be paranoid about the safety of the baby as she was with the first one, in the same way, the first one has to live with the fact that she had to put up with an inexperienced mother, who applied all her experimental theories on her! This will continue to be the same throughout their life when I have to deal with their school issues to teenage times and even after.

more links

Alfred Adler, an Austrian psychiatrist who lived around the same time as Sigmund Freud, was one of the first theorists to suggest that birth order may influence personality. He suggested that birth order leaves a life-long impression on one’s style of life, the way s/he deals with friendship, love, and work. Other things that influence a person are parental attitude, illnesses, disabilities, gender, and the social, economic and religious situation of the family. Other things that should be considered along with birth order are the spacing of years between the siblings, the total number of children, and the parent’s situation over time.

I believe it is the parental attitude, etc (given in the later part of the quote above) influence more than the birth order.

Birth order and personality


related links: 1. Sibling rivalry
              2. Middle child syndrome and sibling rivalry


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. ra
    Jul 26, 2009 @ 18:14:09

    I think older ones are more anxious and younger ones calmer and more gregarious…no solid evidence to support my theory of course!


  2. mummyjaan
    Aug 05, 2009 @ 15:11:02

    wow, congrats prema, great news that you’re going to have another baby. good luck!


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