Too Posh to Push

Sujatha has listed most common reasons for opting for Cesarean in India. Add one more please, some people do not want their child to go through that ordeal. That is what exactly my breastfeeding soul mate told me when she explained why she opted for elective cesarean. (I have to mention that her case was not in India and she is not an Indian.) Secondly, elective cesarean is not always about control, as concluded by Sujatha. Even if it is about control, what is wrong with it? Agreed, there can be many things that cannot be controlled or planned, then why do we plan anything in the first place?

If someone is horrified of the labour pain and the process, one should be able/allowed to opt for cesarean without feeling guilty about it. If someone opts for cesarean to avoid having to go through the labour pain, it is a very valid reason, imo. Nothing bad about it. Secondly, there is nothing wrong in choosing an easy option, though cesarean is not an “easy” option. Thirdly whosoever has told me that cesarean is risky than the natural delivery, have also told me more risky (horror) situations in natural delivery than in cesarean. In Cesarean, one has to deal with the after effects of major surgery. There are risks associated with the surgery itself during the course of doing it as well. But, there are equally (in fact more) risky situations explained to me about the natural delivery too. Sure they all are doing well. So are the C sect mothers and their babies.

One thing I do NOT want to have is getting cesarean done after trying some natural labour process. Mother has to deal with disadvantages from both the methods. Child has to go through the ordeal of natural delivery and then wait in distress, may be losing some heartbeat and breath while the OT is being arranged. Yes, there will be people to take care of the situation, so will be in elective cesarean OT.

One thing I disagree with mothers who have gone through cesarean by choice (not because of complication) is that they expect people to show sympathy towards them as if they have gone through more problems than the mothers who have gone through the natural labour. Cesarean by default does not mean complication during delivery; certainly not these days. Very close to 100% of the cesarean cases in major cities in India are elective Cs by choice. In fact it surprises me when I come across a natural delivery case, delivered in India. There are certain reasons, such as selecting auspicious time, I wouldn’t agree, but hey, it is to do with  my belief system and to do with their belief system. How many of us object to naming children with so many auspicious factors thrown into it?  I do not believe mothers are forced to go into C sect by doctors/in-laws/husbands. Yes doctors in India prefer C section to earn more money, I believe that. But women are not forced to do it. I believe women themselves prefer C section over natural delivery.  I will stand corrected if proven otherwise. Yes, in-laws may want it to be auspicious time. So do the women who are giving birth. Women are not forced against their wishes and beliefs. Again, I will stand corrected if proven otherwise. Yes, men may want to keep their sexual life safe after child birth. I do not believe women are forced to go for C section by their husbands for this reason.  Again, I will stand corrected if proven otherwise. Yes this reason may be an added advantage for their husbands. And, I believe women should also enjoy good sex life after child birth.

I want the product of my effort to be perfect. Having invested so much of my time and life towards it, I wouldn’t mind bearing some more if I have to, as long as the product of my effort is perfect, or close to perfect. I reserve the right to choose whatever I feel comfortable with it. If I am not comfortable going through the natural delivery process, that itself should be a good enough reason for me to ask for the alternative. Yes, NHS system in UK simply doesn’t allow elective C, as it is not a claim. But, if women in India have the opportunity to get it done by paying some extra cash, they should be able to do without someone pouring guilt over them. I am guilty as charged as well, as I also used to believe that women who choose elective cesarean are bad mothers. When did I say I was born with a brain-2007? (In my defence, 1. I was misguided by the same kind of lot who are stressing me out now, 2. the C sect mothers expected me to show a hell of a lot of sympathy towards them. As I have said before, if it was out of choice, why more sympathy to you? Agreed it is a difficult thing. I certainly feel sympathy for that. But when you expect it more, in comparison to natural delivery, that is when I disagree). But when I have to cross the bridge, I do it in my terms; always. (I am already under stress, getting nightmares about labour process, I do not want people telling me what a bad person I am to even think about elective C. 😦 The stress is not doing me or my baby any good. She has been kicking me so hard as I type this post. 😦 )

I am exploring my chances to get elective C done. If it works out, that is what I prefer – as of today. I cannot guarantee what I will say tomorrow. Tomorrow is a brand new day.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: Too Posh to Push ? The normal self | Our Baby Notes

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