Problem pregnancy

“You are old. Your pregnancy must be complicated. No, I am not asking, I am telling you, yours IS complicated pregnancy”.


“How did you get pregnant? What was the magical treatment you underwent? One of my friends wants to know as she is trying for baby with no luck for few years”.
“I can give you information on tests and possible treatments for her. But she has to see a doctor first”.
“You just tell your treatment and give your doctor’s name. she wants to go to that doctor to get pregnant”.
“Mine actually happened in natural way..”
interrupting me, “didn’t you go to a doctor at all”?
“I was taking tests and other things, yes, but ….”.
again interrupting me, “OK, OK, give the doctor’s name”.
“I do not have a particular doctor to refer you to. It depends on what kind of treatment she needs depending on her test result. I can give one Doctor’s name in India if IVF is what she has in her mind”.
after few days, “my friend doesn’t want any treatment. Her husband doesn’t like her spoiling her health by taking some dangerous medicine and all”


“back ache? we never heard of it”. To others, “She has many complications, you know, she is old and all. She needs cushion even when she is sitting”.


“how was the anomaly scan”
“It was alright. I had to go more than once, as the baby was not in the desired position the first time”
“Oh, don’t worry Prema. These people tell all things to scare you. Position of the baby will be fine for you. Don’t be scared it is complicated position”
“No, I meant that the baby was in cuddled position, they couldn’t take all measurements. And, I didn’t drink enough water before the ultrasound. So the head of the baby was slightly in a lower position that they couldn’t take measurements. Not only that, that is how it is for EVERYONE, for the most anyway, that some people go for a walk to change baby’s position so that they can complete all the measurements…..”
Not listening to a single bit, “These people over-educate you and scare you. Don’t worry. Your baby position will not be a problem. It will not be a complicated thing for you. You will be alright. ……..” I switched my receiver off (mentally) this time.
PS: She is an experienced person who has gone through this system in UK, not a long ago.


Premalatha’s pregnancy IS through IVF (OMG! IVF?!!! OMG!!), as she was infertile. Why would they not have baby for this long, if she wasn’t infertile? She visited an IVF doctor. She had Laproscopy.


She visited an IVF doctor.


She had Laproscopy. She didn’t even tell me. (Did I have to make an announcement by arranging a party for everyone? Laproscopy is one of the tests to see if the tubes are clear. (It is not any kind of treatment, unless endometriosis is identified during the same laproscopy, which no one would/can know before laproscopy – Info for others). Laproscopy is an half a day affair. I checked in in the morning, had my laprosopy done, and got back home before evening. I do not think visitors are allowed to visit with horlicks and big lectures during that short time (and I do not think anyone of you would have visited me in the hospital. Let me see when you are going to visit me when I have my baby). I did not realise I needed to announce it in a big party before checking in. I certainly didn’t think I needed any help for that half a day. Yes, I could not drive back home as I was given anesthesia for the surgery, but don’t I have my husband to drive me back home?)


“I understand why you didn’t tell everyone before three months. I know, after the difficulty(?! what?!) and all, I understand you didn’t want to tell. Even I didn’t tell. Ours wasn’t that difficult pregnancy. I just had ——– and got pregnant after that without any problem. Even with such an easy pregnancy I didn’t tell everyone for three months”.


PS:  I can handle the situations with ease and in fact I would be a naive stupid if I didn’t expect them. It is only when they all accumulate I feel like posting about it. Some of them are from their ignorance, and some of them are from their own psychology of social suppression. Some of them come from their wanting to be the “good girl” / “perfect” factor. I have forgiven some of them, but some others, I have not.


4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. mumbaigirl
    Oct 09, 2007 @ 15:12:42

    good grief-some people are just such know it alls.


  2. Anitha
    Oct 09, 2007 @ 19:53:40

    Holy crap! This is too much, I could laugh at a few, but some are extremely annoying. The anomaly scan was heights, didn’t you feel like asking the person to shut up and listen to you in the first place? I think us Indians don’t seem to understand the concept that people can infact choose to have a baby or not. That if they choose to have one, it is upto them to decide when they want it. Just because somebody delays getting pregnant, does not mean they are infertile. In our case, we waited only 4 years, even that was enough for people to gossip. Hmm.


  3. Premalatha
    Oct 10, 2007 @ 14:10:31

    @MG, I know. 🙂


  4. Trackback: Reply to Anitha « The normal self

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