Boy or girl?

My instincts are that it is a girl.

We are waiting for the anomaly scan done, just hoping on our luck to get a sneak peek so that we can save money from having to go for a private scan. If we don’t get a sneak peek, we will go for a private scan then. It is only two more weeks to go. So we are just waiting.

I am not the patient type to wait until the baby is born. I want to know. So that I can start buying stuff!!

I am not sure I have a clear cut preference on whether I want a girl or a boy. Sometimes I want a girl, sometimes I change my mind. Having been a strong supporter of feminism, it confuses me and makes me feel guilty whenever I like to have a boy. Aren’t feminists allowed to have a choice? Aren’t feminists permitted to like boys? It just confuses me. The selfish me would like it to be a boy so that my child doesn’t have to “defend”and “explain” all the time, instead he can just get on with his life. Another selfish me wants it to be a girl who can develop herself to live her life without doing any defending or explainning. I mean, to the point that these things won’t even get any significance even in her thinking process. Then I want to show the world that this is how it is done!

Another selfish me wants it to be a girl so that she will be part of my family or I can be part of her family, for ever. Wait, if you are getting confused here, here is my explanation: Boys marry girls, and the family becomes centered around the girl. Their children are raised by that girl. It is also my observation that in many households boy’s parents get distanced by the girl and eventually by the boy too, and  it is the girl’s parents who get to be part of their life. Boy’s parents can visit, but they are not part of their life. This trend is in the increasing rate these days, irrespective of the cultural demands. Guilty as charged, it is true in my household too. But my parent’s are more involved in my brother’s life than in mine, since I prefer to keep them away from my life. If you compare my parent’s interaction with Balan’s parent’s interaction in our life, it is the formers who get to get more (Balan is the one who is to be blamed for this).

I know for sure my daughter will hate me. My son might like me. So, more selfish reasons to want it to be a boy.

I might end up pushing my daughter to achieve what I couldn’t achieve (becoming Prime Minister of a (any) country, to quote one example!) or what I haven’t achieved, as I might end up seeing her life as an extension of my own life. On the otherhand, I  might end up comparing my son with Balan for everything and might end up accusing him of being simple headed! I have a history of doing that with my brother and now with Balan.

So I want it to be a girl some days and want it to be a boy some other days.

Balan’s only fear is that he doesn’t want another Premalatha. But he wants it to be a girl. He wants to raise the girl, who will be so not like me! 😦

I refer it as her whenever I talk to her.

I refer it as him whenever I imagine/dream-about his life as an individual’s life.

I refer it as her whenever I imagine/dream-about family dinners together.

I refer it as her whenever I imagine/dream-about grandchildren (!! I know I need to stop!)

I refer it as him whenever I imagine his teenage days when he is going to be embarrassed about everything and anything about me.

Two more weeks.

I know it is going to be a win win situation whether it is a boy or a girl. So, I am actually at peace though I do not sound so.

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7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. knittingnoob
    Aug 29, 2007 @ 14:11:11

    I felt the same way. I was so relieved when my first was a boy. I wouldn’t know what to do with a girl! Girls like pink and braids and… girl stuff. My second I was sure was a girl, that was the odds right? 😉 Again, I had a boy and I was so relieved.

    Flash forward to 6 years later and I was so sure this was a girl. I spent a lot of time trying to decide if I was ok with that. Our ultrasound shows a girl and I was ecstatic! I can’t wait to have a daughter and I even admit to breaking down and buying some pink girly clothes.

    So I don’t know if it’s because I’m older (and pretend to be wiser) or… or what.

    But you’re right, its a win-win situation. I wish you luck with your ultrasound and an unshy baby!

    Reply

  2. Silent One
    Aug 29, 2007 @ 16:55:19

    Girls are sooo much fun…I am not biased at all when I say this 🙂
    Either way, have fun and please do let us know when you find out – dont keep us in suspense..

    Reply

  3. Planethalder
    Aug 29, 2007 @ 22:35:07

    “Balan’s only fear is that he doesn’t want another Premalatha.” ROTFL!

    Reply

  4. Premalatha
    Aug 30, 2007 @ 13:05:23

    @knittingnoob
    Thanks. All the best with the girl. so, is this your third. Wow. I know what you mean by girl stuff. I thought that I can’t imagine me buying pinky clothes. But guess what, I liked a pinky bicycle I saw in the display last week!

    @SilentOne, thanks. Sure will let you all know. I just browsed your blog and found out that you have a 6 months old girl. pretty girl. Post photos.

    @Planethalder, just few minutes ago I told Balan that we all should pray that the child doesn’t inherit his “brain” and I told him if it does, I will give it up for adoption. He says that, “if the child inherits my brain, there won’t be huge problem in the adopted household. Imagine if the child inherits your brain.. What are we going to do for the adopted parents then? who will adopt them then?”! And it goes on and on every day. I don’t know whether I am enjoying my second trimester, he certainly is!

    Reply

  5. DesiGirl
    Sep 04, 2007 @ 14:27:46

    hey!
    am back in england. hope u three are doing ok. meant to call u sunday but it was sundeep’s bday on sat and after a day out, we generally got too knackered to raise much energy to do anything.
    big hello to balan.
    abt ur dilemma re girl or boy baby, am sure once u know for sure, u will settle down and slowly get used to it.

    Reply

  6. Trackback: The girl child issue « The normal self
  7. Goutham
    Nov 06, 2007 @ 20:37:18

    I totally empathised reading case 7. My first is a Girl and my second is a boy. The boy is still a toddler while the Girl is older (6 years). I went to visit my friend’s family and it was he who sowed the seeds of guilt in my mind by saying “boy – are you really biased in favor of boys – you never scold him” all my protests of “no – it is just that he is a toddler yet and not because he is a boy” wouldnt convince him and I’m ashamed to say I was a bit self conscious about showing my affection to my son. It was only later that I realized how foolish that was.

    Reply

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