It is coming back

You jumped. Ahh.

“See the heartbeat”, I prompted Balan.

“Where, where?” – Balan

You waved. “Is that the hand moving?” – Balan.

“Look, there”, I pointed at the heartbeat. “It was even jumping. Did you not see it”? You jumped again. ahh..

Doctor selected your heart as the area of interest (AOI) and selected audio to be output. OMG. that is beating fast. Now, mine too.

Doctor tapped my tummy to make you move, so that he can get certain desired position of you to observe you. You jumped and jumped. I couldn’t see anymore. I closed my eyes.

“Am I hurting you”? – doctor.

“No”. I opened my eyes again.

“See the monitor. That is the face”. I froze. You looked at me sharply. That look, that look I use to scare others. In the same way I scared my mother and even my father once. “You are the only person in the whole world who can scare me”, he confessed. I didn’t move, nor said a single word, but continued to look at him. He had to look away. You are doing that to me, aren’t you?..

The scan was over. The doctor discussed some results. I acted composed. I asked few questions. He answered. But I guess he was confused to see me not going “oh cute my baby”. Same with balan, or perhaps he was occupied with so many things in his mind, including the results. He was happy to get “everything perfect” result. Perhaps he didn’t notice me not showing any expression. The doctor was generous and gave us nine pictures of you. Nothing looking at me, thankfully. Back in the car, I was silent for sometime.

“You cannot enjoy the happiness, can you? this is the problem with you” – Balan.

“Is that the mouth” – me

“Yes, why”?

“It is too big”.

“Are you worried the child is going to get your jawline”?  

I hate my father for that jawline of mine, and yes, I don’t want you to have it. No surprise there. Nose is fine. You can have the nose. I am still looking at all the nine pictures to see if the jawline differed in any of those.

“Did you see the eyes?” – me

“What eyes”? – Balan

“You din’t? I saw. It looked at me sharply”.

Balan laughed. Seeing the scared look, as if I just have seen some ghost, on my face, he got what I meant. “There were no eyes visible to us”.

I am pretty sure, you gave me that look. I still remember that look. When are you moving out of my house or going to Uni so that I don’t have to see you everyday, and be scared of that look everytime you are going to look at me?

PS1: This is the second scan. We saw the heartbeat in the first scan too. But there was no audio output. The baby was too tiny at that time.

PS2: The baby is in perfect size and shape, the doctor told us. “Everything perfect” is what he told. I have to cut down the morning coffee as well, otherwise the baby will jump too much (I think).

PS3: the second trimester starts today.


5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Planethalder
    Jul 11, 2007 @ 19:39:55

    You are into your second trimester – whooooop! What a wonderful time for you.


  2. B o o.
    Jul 11, 2007 @ 22:30:16

    The baby seems to be giving a wide grin in the scan photo, no? With the fist on its head? Or am I seeing things?
    Good to know everything is going perfect. Take care.


  3. Premalatha
    Jul 12, 2007 @ 11:26:33

    Boo, It was totally grinning. Yes, that was the fist on its head.


  4. Visitor
    Jul 16, 2007 @ 12:51:50

    தேவையில்லாம டென்ஷன் ஆகாதீங்க! என்ஜாய் பண்ணுங்க. 🙂


  5. Trackback: back with a news « The normal self

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