In vitro fertilisation – 1

Not always IVF means infertility is being treated. Not that infertility means lack of anything (well, technically it is, but, you know what I mean). Someone can read without glasses, someone can do with a little help from wearing them. That is all it is to me. 

I haven’t done a good research yet. I haven’t been to my doctor for my briefing yet. But I keep hearing some terms…. You are under medication for IVF, so you shouldn’t be eating/drinking this… kind of questions and/or, are you OK with donors etc, you know you will not be the biological parent, kind of questions….. Then I looked up, not exhaustively yet, but…

  1. Some might need hormone treatment (boosting?)
  2. Some might need to have to go for donors.

Then there is this another question that constantly comes up… what about adoption?

In my bachelor days I used to have so many theories, so many principles, so many ideals and so many so many.. One of them used to be “adoption” and “certainly not having a baby of my own”. The “adoption” was to “help the children in need” and the later one was out of my fear to see another one of me and I wasn’t prepared to deal with her/him.  I used to argue, wanting to have “own” baby is pure ego. 🙂

The reason why I have braved myself to go for my own rather than the adoption route is more to do with my fears surrounding the psychology of the adopted child than to do with wanting to have my own baby.  I still enquired about adoption procedures. It is a lengthy process. And the adoption route in UK adds more issues to the “psychology of the adopted child” issues. So I have given up. I thought of adopting from India too. Again I have given up.

Info file on me:

not pregnant yet.

no hormone treatments suggested for me, as the briefing or the tests relevant for this are not done yet.

no donors. Not suggested, as the briefing or the tests relevant for this are not done yet. But, my decision is not to go for donor (egg or sperm) if it comes to that.

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6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. B o o.
    Mar 09, 2007 @ 23:35:20

    “I used to argue, wanting to have “own” baby is pure ego.”

    You used to? Dont u think that way anymore? Because thats what it is! At least thats what I think it is! Hubby and I agree readily agreed on this fact thats its our ego which has to be satisfied by having our “own” baby.

    “The reason why I have braved myself to go for my own rather than the adoption route is more to do with my fears surrounding the psychology of the adopted child than to do with wanting to have my own baby”

    Thats the reason most of us give. Does it mean its ok to screw up the life of our own baby but not an adopted baby? I would really like to read a blog of a parent who has adopted. It might clarify a lot of things for me. Let me know if you stumble upon some blog.

    Good luck.

    Reply

  2. WA
    Mar 11, 2007 @ 16:00:21

    Good Luck Premalatha. Just wanted to add that one of my close friends is adopted and it seems to have worked out perfectly for her. When I see her with her adopted parents, they just seem perfect. Good luck

    Reply

  3. Premalatha
    Mar 12, 2007 @ 10:11:13

    Boo and WA,

    I was an adopted child myself. 🙂 (by my chithi, the woman behind every screwed up theory of mine, including my strong cha’s. she refused to marry and has remained single. I admire her and I hate her 🙂 )

    I will write more on that later.

    thanks WA for the wishes.

    No it is not ok to screw up any child. that is why I refused to bear a child until now. I am 38 years old, and am thinking has this refusal got anything to do really with my ideology or to do with my lazyness and committment issues. 🙂 thus the “trying to get pregnant route”.. will write a separate post on that too.

    Reply

  4. Premalatha
    Mar 12, 2007 @ 10:15:10

    Oh, and yes, I still think it is pure ego. But I just don’t argue anymore. Ageing has mellowed me a little and I have started giving little consideration in not hurting others feelings who have children of their own and consider that is a selfless thing they have done for their child. 🙂

    Reply

  5. Premalatha
    Mar 12, 2007 @ 10:17:15

    I just remembered another thing, Yes I once came across a blog/article written by an adopted parent. Will dig out and post it here.

    Reply

  6. Vidya
    Mar 23, 2007 @ 23:22:59

    Oh my! oh my! Some one to whom I can relate to. Premalatha, I certainly believe, that having a kid is to satisfy your ego, and not just that, its basically, everyone is doing something, I can also do it. Thats the attitude, I have believed is with many people getting married or having kids.

    As you said, age does mellows you down, with me being just a couple of years younger than you, I can see age mellowing me down from where I was.

    Reply

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