Prepare yourself first

I know I said the first step is knowing your cycle. But there are few things to consider before this first step. Let us call it preparations.

It is indeed preparing yourself. Prepare yourself mentally to be a mother/father. Then there are few practical things you need to consider or sort out. 

1) financial considerations. Bringing up a baby is a very expensive affair. Better know that before getting senti about the whole thing. Ask someone how much does it cost a month, on an average. Babies grow faster. Need to buy loads of clothes, loads of shoes, loads of toys, and loads of loads.

2) Time. Boy, this is what still scars me. Can you manage yourself? Do you have a family member who can help? Are you both working? who is willing to compromise some working hours and exchange it for some baby pleasures? Can you both discuss it and come to a common conclusion?

3)Discussing the above two issues will throw some light on how much indeed maturity and/or understanding and/or teamplaying skills you have got with each other. 😀 Good time to reevaluate the whole idea of having the baby itself. 😀

4)Have baby for right reasons.  I would discourage you if your reason is one of the following

    4a)Elders have been rushing us
    4b)People will think that I am not capable. I must have one. immediately.
    4c)What is wrong with me? It has been few months since our marriage. nothing happening…
    4d)It brings a completeness to life
    4e)it is fulfilling
    4f)it is wonderful thing to do
    etc. etc.

Decide to have baby as your next big step in life. Prioritise your priorities. Having baby and letting it grow up in the middle of chaos is unfair to the child and to yourself.

Then comes the teamplaying with your spouse. Talk everything and anything with each other. You are going need each other for a long time to come and you need to grow up to realise this now.  Say it to yourself that my child is his child too and (my child is her child too). This will freak you out (It did/does to me). But, say it to accept it before it happens.

It is a good time to resolve cultural differences, if any, between the two of you. In case you have to go for any tests at any time, such as the blood test to assess thyroid level, it is important that you both know it is simple and normal thing, similar to testing sugar level and nothing more than that. Men should read more about these than women, as this will help in taking some heat off her, more importantly the heat you men might, however unintentionally, pour on your woman, and secondly the protection you can show against the heat from other sources. Above all, women go too anxious about the whole process for obvious reasons. It is essential that they get some heat dissipating help from you.

Will continue as I remember more.

Ah, and, stop taking the birth control pills. Some of them need atleast six months before they stop having their effect,  so I was told.


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: Conception « The normal self

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