Marrying the rapist

Marrying the rapist.

Find a man to rape her and then we can get her married off to him (in Tamil font)

imo, a related topic. (in Tamil font again) It is a woman’s view of another woman, who apparently was a “bad type”.

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15 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Madura
    May 27, 2006 @ 15:58:00

    Hello Prems, you are so good in that comment box for Tulasi’s story. You are so good at every phrase there, I cant just point out one. Keep writing. I am still suprised that you could spell it out so god damn clearly and in our tamil language. Veluththu Vangitteengappa! Onga Kaalak konjam kattunga, kumbittukiren! Seriously. I am not kidding. Rekkakatti parakuthunga onga manasu! On the other links, had been visiting Punkster frequently after finding her through you. Definitely loved the Kalabak kadhalan commentary by that blogger – that was a very nice link!

    Reply

  2. Premalatha
    May 27, 2006 @ 16:15:00

    (maduraa, have you joined our desire group? did balasubra send you invitation?)

    damn clearly and in our tamil language
    maduraa, தமிழ்ல எழுதுறது ஈஸிதான, இல்லயா?

    Kaalak konjam kattunga அய்யய்யோ.. ஏற்கனவே “அம்மா” மதிரி வேலல்லாம் செய்ஞ்சுக்கிட்டு இருக்கேன். நீங்க என்னய முழு “அம்மா”வா ஆக்கிடுவீங்க போல இருக்கே. 😀

    punkster post-la கடேசியா ஒரு comment, என்னோடது பார்த்தீங்களா? (உங்க commentsஐ பார்த்தேன். :))

    I have been meaning to tell you, Suhasini doesn’t read blogs. she thinks it is not very good. 😦 (will tell you the story later).

    Reply

  3. Premalatha
    May 27, 2006 @ 16:22:00

    Actually I forgot to add two more points in Thulasi’s post. I am not going to comment there anymore, as promised. 😀

    1) the marriage could well have happened against her wishes. or, without even consulting her. Quite possible.

    2) why did he leave the girl with the mother and came back home with the boy?

    Reply

  4. B o o
    May 27, 2006 @ 18:38:00

    Hi Latha, Thanks for the links. Even though it boiled my blood to read some of the comments, it was worth it! BTW,

    >>99% if indian women, imho, are raped by their husbands.

    Reply

  5. Premalatha
    May 27, 2006 @ 18:43:00

    Please tell me U wrote that just to scare “thegeneral” in Meghas comment box.

    then you are one of those that 1% lucky lot.

    Reply

  6. B o o
    May 28, 2006 @ 10:32:00

    Latha – I feel that 99% might be an exaggeration. Sure I wasnt born yesterday and ofcourse do NOT believe in “they lived happily ever after” crap but 99%? That number is making my insides curl. If it is 99%, then why are nt we doing something? Why am I not doing something? How can I be so ignorant of the prevailing problem? If the figure is indeed true, some girl/woman I know is going through it too and somehow thats giving me jeepers-creepers. Why is this issue not as talked about as domestic violence? or does Rape come under domestic violence too?

    Reply

  7. B o o
    May 28, 2006 @ 10:34:00

    And one more thing. Do you think it makes me happy to be in the 1% category knowing that 99% of the wives are going through such a horrendous thing? NAH! 😦 It makes all the more reason for me to do help the victims.

    Reply

  8. Premalatha
    May 28, 2006 @ 10:36:00

    It makes all the more reason for me to do help the victims

    join me 🙂

    Reply

  9. Premalatha
    May 28, 2006 @ 10:44:00

    rape by husbands in indian household comes under “sacred”ness. that’s why.

    trust me many women you know, your relations, have gone through, if not going through.

    I don’t think 99% any exaggration at all.

    Reply

  10. B o o
    May 28, 2006 @ 11:12:00

    Hi Latha,

    You are right. Women might go through it even without realizing they are being abused. But I was thinking that it is nt as prevalent in this generation as it was/is in the previous ones. A woman once told me that her husband used to pick fights with her and not talk for days together. When I asked her about the sex life during these fights and she told me, “அது பாட்டுக்கு அது நடக்கும்!” (“That will go on as usual!” Meaning is totally
    lost on the translation, methinks!)

    I was shocked to say the least. But that was from a middle-aged woman. And another woman I know has been going through in-laws abuse for months, her husband has not talked to her face-to-face for ONE WHOLE YEAR and guess what? They ve a 6 months old baby! What culture does this come under, I wonder?! 😦

    Reply

  11. Premalatha
    May 28, 2006 @ 11:18:00

    But I was thinking that it is nt as prevalent in this generation as it was/is in the previous ones.

    me too thought like that until I came across overwhelmingly disturbing statistics, (just my personal, and not reported ofcourse).

    Shocking. yes. exaggrating. no.

    Reply

  12. ammani
    May 28, 2006 @ 20:47:00

    Here’s my 2p. Yes, rape by a husband is not recognised as an offence under the Indian laws. However, I would exercise caution before throwing in statistics like 99% of indian women are raped by their husbands.
    exits, stage left.

    Reply

  13. Madura
    May 29, 2006 @ 03:07:00

    Just thought of something that happened when I was in college. I did agriculture for my bachelors. We have a crop named “rapeseed” (no idea why!). The agronomy professor who came to the class wrote on the board “Rape s a must” and waited for everybody to arrive and sit down. Then smiled and filled it up “Rapeseed and mustard”. I think none of us reacted because we were absolutely not expecting that was going to happen that plainly in a class of 50 women and 30 men (most are sensible!). He is still teaching agronomy. I cant believe it even today. The class comprised of girls from all over Tamil Nadu, from all kinds of backgrounds. Hmm… I am still slapping myself to have sat there astounded. I was only 17 and did not know what I was to stand up and say! Though it seemed so obvious that we should have said something! Atleast I am clear that he was not simply provoking us for a healthy discussion. I dont know what girls in other colleges do! After all he did not “do” anything!!! CRAZY as it sounds.

    Reply

  14. Dadoji
    May 30, 2006 @ 15:15:00

    99% is quite possible if one includes the emotional bullying.

    I have to say one thing though. Miniscule percentage of cases as it may constitute at present, women do employ sex as a weapon at times – by using it and also by denying it. I am against that as well. This is not a lame attempt at “balancing” but simply a statement based on observation. Have seen 2 wonderful boys and a third whole family ruined.

    Reply

  15. D The Dreamer
    May 31, 2006 @ 01:52:00

    Premalatha:

    In my opinion, the 99% figure could neither be falsified nor verified so it is better not to give such figures.

    Anyway, a part of your comment in Thulasi’s post set me thinking.

    //just because of that “marraige” no one owes entire life to anyone. it is quite acceptable to feel otherwise and it is quite understandable if that lady felt feelings for another man//

    Agreed, no one needs to stick to a marriage/relationship for the whole life if it has lost its charm in eyes of one of the parties involved. However, dont you think the onus is on the aggrieved person to do somthing about it? It could be either talking it out or breaking away. I think Sweety’s mother did nothing but just stick there and torture herself along with her husband.

    Cheers
    D the D

    Reply

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