The normal self

Update: Please sign here to register your voice. Thanks.

Bloggers: Please spread the word. Thanks. Ammani Draj MumbaiGirl Dharumi தருமி டுபுக்கு கில்லி Megha
update2: Write to CM at cmcell@tn.gov.in

Defending the outrageous measure, the hostel warden says it is the best way to keep the girls under check and prevent possible premarital sex.

The register has columns for the exact dates of their cycle. Even slightly irregular dates invite snide remarks and harsh reprimands by the hostel warden.

But while their records may be strictly monitored, their sanitation is not. The girls claim their hostel has just one bathroom but that is exclusively for the warden. The girls can enter it but only to clean it and not use it.

Ironically the moral brigade is unconcerned about the fact that the girls have to bathe out in the open after dusk.

From hounding an actress for airing her views on pre marital sex to banning jeans and t-shirts on college campuses to monitoring the menstrual cycle of teenage hostel girls, primitive mindsets, it seems, are there to stay in Tamil Nadu.

Gilli KVRaja Chenthil

What do you think we should do? What do you think we can do? Could we do anything at all? Getting everyone to sign doesn’t look too useful idea to me. What about writing to CM? Don’t be cynical. It works. True.

What do you think?

Looking forward to your ideas.

Is there any other roprt from any other source (other than NDTV)? Thanks.

Does anyone know where exactly in Madurai (I suppose it is in Madurai district, not in the city of Madurai) it is? Thanks.

There is a blogger (Dharumi) from Madurai. His Tamil Blog and his English blog.

update:

We are also planning to collect some fund ourselves. It might be a fund raising event. Nothing is finalised yet. Your suggestions are welcome.

Follow up of my previous post. இன்னொரு update போட்டா Prakash அடிப்பாரு.

We Tamilians (Tamils?) do not have the concept of “relax”in. If we go on a holiday what we do? போட்டா காச எடுத்துரனும்னு பறந்து பறந்து point by point, location by location நின்னமா, photo எடுத்தமா, கிளம்பு, கிளம்பு, இன்னும் நாலு இடம் பார்க்கணும்னு… Could we bring ourselves to read a book in a beach, by paying that flight ticket? I understand the ticket is expensive. I am talking about, “could we bring ourselves to do that”, even if it is affordable? No. Bloggin is relaxin place for many. If we want to do serious stuff, that is fine. For some others it is the “shout box” they like about it. For some it is the anonimity and how many identities they can choose, how many characters they can display without being caught…. For some, it is the place where they can try their hands on on their “writing skills”. Relax. Before bloggin (me bloggin), Balan used to laugh whenever I said I wanted to publish a book oneday. I don’t blame him. He also laughed when I said I wanted to become the Prime Minister of Brittain. I don’t blame him for that either. (He patiently showed me that there is a legal issue (that I was not born in Brittain) that I could never become the Prime Minister of Brittain). Anyway, now, he accepts(?!) that I am not a bad writer(what? we thought you are trying to improve your spelling and basic grammer!!) and he might even support me (actually I am trying to come to a deal with my brother as he is earning better than us) to publish my book. Oh, where was I? ahh, relax. right, relax. Relax people. Next time when you go on a holiday, read a book. I should have published mine by then. Remember it was me who suggested this idea.

Icarus . Naan illappa. vaiyanumnu ninachchaa icarussa pudinga. nammala vittudunga.

update:

http://pkp.blogspot.com/2006/03/blog-post_114326149743928256.html
http://thewitchyangel.blogspot.com/2006/03/tanglish-blogs.html
http://premalathakombai.blogspot.com/2006/03/relax-when_25.html
ங்கொக்காமக்க. இதுகூட serious ஆயிருச்சு.

கேபி “நாங்கள் தமிழை வளர்க்க இலக்கியம் எழுதவில்லையே.” அப்படிங்கறார். இதுவும் இலக்கியம்தான். இன்னைக்கு திருவள்ளுவர் வந்து பார்த்தார்னா நம்ம எல்லோரையும் பார்த்து “யோவ், என்னாய்யா எழுதுறீங்க” அப்படின்னு கடுப்பாயிடுவார். அதுக்காக அப்படியே இருந்திருந்தோம்னா, கி.ரா. எழுதின கரிசல்காட்டு கதை கிடைச்சிருக்குமா? அது இலக்கியம் இல்லையா? Thanglish will become இலக்கியம் oneday. கடுப்பாவாதீங்க. கண்டிப்பா ஆகும். நம்மளே வாங்கிப்ப் படிப்போம், (அதாவது நம்ம பேரப்புள்ளைங்க). Thanglish மக்களே நீங்க பாட்டுக்குப் போங்க. எப்பவும்போல ஒடுங்க. முடிஞ்சா பின்னாடி வரோம். என்னா, கொஞ்சம் ஓட முடியல மூச்சு வாங்குது. (கொஞ்சம் கருணை காட்டி எழுதுங்கப்பா, படிக்க ரெம்ம்ம்ம்பவே கஸ்ஸ்ஸ்டமா இருக்கு.)

ithuvum ilakkiyamthaan. innaikku thiruvaLLuvar vanththu paarththaarnaa namma ellooraiyum paarththu “yoov, ennaayyaa ezuthuRiingka” appadinnu kaduppaayiduvaar. athukkaaka appadiyee irunththirunththoomnaa, ki.raa. ezuthina karisalkaattu kathai kidaissirukkumaa? athu ilakkiyam illaiyaa? Thanglish will become ilakkiyam oneday. kaduppaavaathiingka. kaNdippaa aakum. nammaLee vaangkipp padippoom, athaavathu namma peerappuLLaingka. Thanglish makkaLee niingka paattukkup poongka. eppavumpoola odungka. mudinjsaa pinnaadi varoom. ennaa, konjsam ooda mudiyala muussu vaangkuthu. (konjsam karuNai kaatti ezuthungkappaa, padikka remmmmpavee kaSSSdamaa irukku.)

Blanknoiseproject was over on Tuesday. I didn’t realise that the deadline was strategically chosen. Yesterday was international women day. Do you know it was “National no-smoking day” in Brittain? I am with Chakra in not being a fan of any of these days. But, the non-smoking day indeed did some good. Many smokers in Brittain did not smoke for the whole day, whether or not they are are going to give up, some are indeed thinking of it. Good for them.

Now, coming to our topic, My post for this Blog-a-thon project was not exactly about street harassment. I was intelligently aware of that. The first thing that came to my mind when blanknoise announced the topic, was “bullying”. Believe me it is equally a crime, and could affect someone to a very serious levels of psychological problems. We all have had some of those experiences, many of us have been the bullies ourselves (not me). but, when I watched other blogs reporting on sexual harrasments that have happend in the streets, buses, etc.. when many women decided to speak out for the first time , and there were few such stories that have been reported previously in the blogspere have affected me for sometime. Ammani rightly points out that this is the problem. I don’t know how many of us truely got/get the message as big as a ocean conained in that quicktale which is as small as a mustard (கடுகைத் துளைத்து கடலைப்புகுத்திய குயிக்டேல்). More street stories cropping up in the net made me realise that this (blank noise project) is about women. Really? If I had known before that blanknoise is intentionally oriented towards “feminism”, I would have stayed out of it. Mainly because I am with Vulturo and Arnab (Arnab, these street stories have not happened to just those “provocatively dressed women”, and it was not just “looking”. I am sure you know that by now. As you have rightly mentioned, “provocatively dressing” is a very relative term, between those men who think this girl is “provocatively dressed”, and the girl who is “dressed” according to her liking. men who are used to conventional dresses may think that a Tshirt is a “provocative dress”, which is just a comfortable clothing for a human being living in a tropical country? I suggest you read this, It is just a sample piece (updated)) in this one that I don’t agree with “militant feminism”, as a few fellow bloggers fondly call it. I observed a little more, there were more street stories, speaking out, which I thought it is a welcoming trend. Men have started speaking out too. As you can see from the comment section, (if you are new to his blog, I am), it is very uncharacteristic of him sharing such a personal information, He is speaking out for the first time, it is about his mom, which makes it even more difficult. This trend is what made me realise that I should not withdraw my support (more the louder), and should write something about sexual harrasment. After seeing many street stories I decided to make it a work-place story, not only because it gives an idea about working conditions are not safe either, educated men are not different either, but also because there are countless number of street stories in my life, and I couldn’t pick one particular story.

Victims of sexual harrasment do not speak out in general, whether in India or elsewhere. This blanknoise projet has helped them to open up. That is a great thing to do. I disagree with Vulturo here in that that I don’t care who they are, what they do is correct or not, victims have decided to speak out, that is a great thing, and I support that. Also, I disagree with his propaganda (this word is nicked from vulturo’s blog) that these victims are blaming “everyone”. Stop, please. This is what (well, one of the reasons) has made the victims suffer in silence. Victims are sharing their painful experience. They are not blaming “you”. I agree, all men look same to the victims eyes. Read, how Sarah feels here, a little excerpt,

If every time a man looks at me or talks to me I get furious and repulsed. Sure, not everyone is out to get me…but how can I tell? …………

I agree and understand your (Vulturo’s) voice. Believe me, I have been there too, it was just a different topic altogether, nevertheless, the feeling is same. I am with you in that. But, I hope you do follow what I am trying to say.

As Chinamyee rightly says I couldn’t go through all those posts. Here is her own experience. some blogs have summarised their readings, Abhishek, Arnab, Gilli (கில்லி) and Mathy (for tamil readers).

Now, read this. There are some genuine questions. A little excerpt from this one,

But the thing is - is there any socially/morally acceptable outlet for that sex drive in our country? The answer is a resounding NO.

Sex drive is caused by hormones. Simple. It is very natural. Nothing to be blamed, nothing to be ashamed of. How do you conduct yourself to deal with the hormones is what makes all the difference. There are few reasons why men do what they do. Lack of outlets, even for married men, particularly for married men aged over 40 (or 50?), and all unmarried men (well, they are expected to suffer by default). Living conditions.. Many living in the same house doesn’t let them have their normal active-sexlife. There are few more reasons we can point out, but I will have to do another PhD to make it a better list if not accurate and/or complete. But the question is, how women deal with it? why do they not go around and do what men do? Could it be the difference in hormones? Again, another PhD topic.

In my understanding, the major factor is The Culture. Our mighty culture. Delayed sex education (I used to be so confused about the “process” that this yellow thread (thaali) could create babies, until I left school). Telling women to “control yaar” (I like Greatbong’s “Control yaar” banner), telling us all (men and women) that sex is synonymous to sin. (I can’t believe how the concept suddenly changes on the day of marriage and becomes sacred). Telling women, not men, to cover. I used to wonder why men do not feel what women feel when their (men’s) body-part that is supposed to be tucked in, comes out of its cover. if a man loses his cover how on earth it becomes harrasment to a woman, and if a woman loses her cover, it becomes shame for her? It is our mighty culture mate. indeed. It is not that these kinds of hormonal problems do not happen outside India, they do. The difference is, our culture makes it more difficult for us. It has invaded your brain a long time ago. When you were a small child.

I am tired to death to continue this further. I am just tired.

DISCLAIMER (nicked from voice from a 2.5 world country. (I like your title btw)):This is all the output of my deranged mind, and may have no factual basis whatsoever, these are just my obeservations and theories.

PsS: Please help. I have done something wrong with my template. I just wanted to know who is linking my post where, I saw in some blogs they get that, I wanted to try and have done something wrong.. I do not like that big, bold “Links to this post” occupying so much space.. don’t know whether this is bringing all those links that link my post here, so help please.

Suggested links:

Childline in India

Childline is a 24-hour emergency phone service for the children in difficult circumstances. Any child in crisis can dial 1098, free of cost. In an acute case I-India sends its ambulance to help the children

Childline in UK, 0800 1111

NSPCC in UK, 0808 800 5000

child help line international website

(thanks to Megha)

a movie The woodsman